Turf War

I cut the grass.

I am not a student and have lived away from the bosom of my mother for 9 years however I only accrued a garden within the last 1 hence grass cutting is news. Putting washing out on the line has been a novelty until now and successful location of the lawn mower along with negotiation of knee-high grass has resulted in a shaven garden.

As I was slicing up the meadow I noticed an awful lot of creatures running away. Some of them were quite big and probably if we hadn't let the grass get so long it would not have curated such a hubbub of wildlife with quite so many habitats. I feel like we cultivated them in order to massacre them. A bit like Willy Wonka and the oompa loompas. We didn't. Not on purpose anyway. Although it does go to show laziness costs lives. I damaged several ladybird homes, beetle houses and spider colonies. I am stating that with no pride or other emotion, it is fact. Like bean juice is creepy and its pronounced scone.

I cannot imagine a vegan/vegetarian type being happy with the desolation left in the garden. Hundreds of species homeless and thousands slaughtered. I suspect the survivors are currently sleeping in the local church hall (situated under the hedge) in donated sleeping bags with friendly do-gooders, probably the caterpillars, providing food. And probably the sleeping bags, using their pupas. The ladybirds worrying and wittering about, the ants rounding up the woodlice for a counter attack and the bees unsure as to how they got involved as they could have flown away if they weren't so bumbley. Note the wasps were wily enough to get out.

I imagine grass cutting is akin to leg-shaving, if you do it everyday it doesn't take long, never really needs doing and doesn't leave innocent creatures dead or homeless. Perhaps that's what vegans and vegetarians do.

In other news the sole has fallen out of my slipper. I wonder if to a shoe their sole is their soul and vice versa. In which case I have a soulless left slipper. No coincidence its on the left. I hope it doesn't try to take me over like the Green Goblin did to Harry's Dad and I start maliciously kicking things. I should get rid of the slipper but in my risk-taking way I think I won't.