Pesky Spiders

The number of spiders I have been forced into contact with recently is despicable. There are more spiders this year than ever before. ‘Experts’ are attributing this to the bonkers weather but I know the real reason. Spiders are becoming impatient in their spider quest, their ongoing mission, the one true purpose in all spiders’ lives. No, not fly catching, thats a mere smoke screen for their true undertaking: ‘Getting on Charlotte’s Face’.

I will be sat at work and a WHOLE handful of times a spider has abseiled down towards said face.

This week the latest trick in their operation is creating a web across the front or back door so that when I go out of it I get web-face. and not in a sexy way. This morning one tried in the car – webbing it up across the inside of my car door, unnoticed and ready to pounce ‘pon my exit; if I hadn’t opened my door with such gusto, thus knocking him off, he would have been on me, completing the mission and marrying the spider princess to become spider king.

I have, as yet, avoided the spider/face incident but it is getting dangerously close. They are multiplying and getting cleverer.