Being Old

I can’t believe I am at the age where being ‘old’ could be insulting. I have been trying to be old my whole life and now I’m finally starting to achieve it, its an insult.

Having done a life expectancy calculator online (which I am almost sure is 100% accurate), I will be living until I am 105. Which means I have 77years left. I am 1.75 years over a quarter of the way through. That is actually 24 and a half years until I am half way. Which is almost my whole life again and that’s only half way.

So why the *hell* are people perpetuating that I am old?

I am not even wrinkly. Although my rear is starting to take over a larger portion of me. My hips now seem to start at my waist. Which is definitely an age thing. I am pretty sure that happened at 26.25 years which was my ¼ way point, I think it’s fair enough that my body should change shape for the next ¼. If anything it’s commendable. The next quarter involves children in which case I am happy that my hips are becoming more suitable for bearing said child/ren. Its thoroughly practical and what girl wouldn’t want to be told she has a practical body?

I am proud of having been around for 28.25 years. I am far more interesting now than I have ever been. I’m a lot more bolshy, a touch more cantankerous, increasingly opinionated and incensed at the news/reporting thereof. I hope there are more changes to report as I grow into my 30s, 40, 50s and 60s aside from my increasing mass and opinions.

In the meantime, I will continue trying to be old safe in the knowledge that even if I stop trying, it's an achievable goal but not for another 50.75 years.