I don't like spiders. I think they are nosy. Always spying. They just appear and you don't know how long they've been there and they make you jump because you didn't know they were there but they never jump because they knew you were there all along in fact they were watching you. Thats weird.
When you see a spider in the bath, he clearly isn't, wasn't and will never have been having a bath so why is he there? Its suspicious. If it was a person you'd ask questions but because its a spider you accept. I think they were invented by the russians. Code name: Spyder.
When I lament the invention of spiders people say 'if it weren't for spiders we'd have more flies'. I also lament the invention of flies. What exactly is the point in either? I dislike spiders. And flies. Because its their fault. Those pesky russian flies.
Don't trust them. Its a scam.
Incidentally, I recently had a cocktail called a spyder. I say cocktail it was a mocktail and I say mocktail it was just coke and ice cream. What my mum calls an ice-cream float. Delicious though.
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