Being 27 - Month 2

I have now been 27 for two months and what I have done this month is learned how to properly eat cake mix.

Everybody loves eating cake mix; as a child its a brilliant part of cake-making and as an adult it's one of the top 3 reasons for cake-making. However, the correct amount to consume has always evaded me. Not enough and you are left wanting more and even the sweet, aromatic, oven-fresh cake won't satisfy your craving its like sticking it to a cheap whore when what you really want is your wife back. Too much and you feel so unutterably sick that you can't move for a while, have the food sweats and feel wretched for your careless binging. Like sticking too much to a cheap whore and procuring a nasty itch.


Since being 27, I have learned how to eat it without feeling sick and without feeling cheated. The clue is in the mastication. And it won't send you blind. Cake mix is so smooth and liquid that it is hard to leave it in your mouth for any length of time. You have to resist the immediate swallow every few mouthfuls so that your mouth gets the full pleasure of the mix. I have not counted the amount of spoon/spatula/hand fuls. I can just sense it. Probably because I'm 27.

To recap, thus far since being 27 I have learned how to:

. Month 1: Shave my legs
. Month 2: Eat cake mix

Its like that 'I went to the supermarket and bought....' game. Except it's not an alphabet or supermarket based memory game. Its my actual real-live life.